My testimony part 3

Welcome back readers! I am so glad you guys have come back. I am so excited to spend time writing my testimony for you guys. Let us take a moment to pray before we start. I pray that you guys are safe where ever you are and that you may spread God’s goodness, and grace. Now, let us dive in.

My grandma, my aunt, and uncle would go on to share custody of my sister and myself. Life seemed to be just that. It started to feel like living. I had parents that loved me. I had enough food to eat, clothes to wear, and I had more family. I was meeting family that I never knew existed! My aunt and uncle lived behind us. Cousins would come over and it would be like kindergartners in the sandbox. Life was good.

Then, my mom(my aunt) got sick. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Nonetheless, she seemed to still be so strong. She never showed us how sick she really was. Looking back, Dad helped her so much during that time. I just did not realize. She did it though, my mom beat her cancer, going into remission.

Or, at least we thought that was the case. I remember that Memorial Day so clearly sometimes. We were having such a good time playing in the pool. Mom was having a hard time breathing, and my grandma suggested that she go see her doctor the next day. My mom would go on to the doctor then be taken to the hospital. She never got to come home. Her cancer came back, and spread to her lungs.

My mom passed away in 2007 from pancreatic cancer. My cousin came to tell me the morning she passed. I was still in my pajamas when my cousin took me outside to the back porch swing. The day was already coming to a boil, but it seemed so cold to me. Like the rest of us, I did not want to believe that she was gone.

I was so angry with God. I remember staying angry with him for a very long time. Even more so after my grandma passed away from melanoma cancer in 2012, shortly after I graduated. I even stopped believing in him and wanted nothing to do with Christians. But while I was hurting Jesus was weeping with me as well. Even though I did not feel Him, he has never left my side. He has grieved with me and grieved for me.

We all go through a time of doubting God. Take for example the Hebrews in the desert.They were constantly letting God down, but he did not let them down. God guided them to the promised land. God was with Ruth through her grieving and her journey. David was faithful and took down Goliath! Even when He is silent He is working. Even in our heartache He is working.

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart, and all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. For the Lord your God is a merciful Go; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath. Deuteronomy 4:29-31